As I mentioned a post or two ago, currently there are 2 queries out and pending. Before starting the sending-out process, I did a number of revision passes on my query, including submitting a few drafts for critique on the National Novel Writing Month forums. During the last critique pass, there was a slowdown in traffic on the thread, and at about the 14 day mark I gave up on waiting and started e-mailing them out. I was confident that I had addressed the concerns raised in the last critique pass, and that I was looking at something usable.
More activity has happened. Feedback has arrived. The critique giver described the query (the one I sent to 2 actual agents) as leaving them “utterly confused”.
As pleasant as it would be to just say “whatever” and walk away, they do have legitimate points regarding some of the wording in the query. Additionally, some of their comments played into concerns I have about writing. Specifically, the fear that I’ve created a world in my head that I can not successfully translate into text for an outside party to read and understand, either due to lack of skill or an inability to consider the viewpoints of others properly. Additionally, there is the fact that showing people what I’m working on was something that I’ve been having to build myself up to, partially due to fear of rejection, and while I have been getting positive feedback it’s mostly been from friends and well-wishers, as opposed to people who have no incentive to protect my feelings. Unfortunately, there is no middle ground here; either I expose my works and feelings to the general populace, or I don’t become a writer. Simple as that.
I don’t like the idea of exposure, on a general level, which is a bad attribute for someone who wants to get published. Not just on the internet, but the internet makes all the concerns greater; if someone gets a passing glimpse of your genitals in the real world, then you have a problem, but if the internet gets a view of the goods you have a problem for the rest of your life. People have literally lost jobs or gone to jail for stuff they posted on Facebook, and modern relationships can end with a website charging you $500 to keep the general public from seeing the boudoir photos your ex posted online. We’ve reached a point where saying you don’t have a Facebook account is akin to saying you have something to hide. People have started to expect a certain level of access to each other’s lives that frankly borders on dangerous. Social media may be one of the better communication tools to be developed in the last few decades, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the issues with it.
Got off on a bit of a ramble there. Need to go retweak the query. Score as of now is still 2 queries out, no responses. The waiting game continues.